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Tea and Transvestites
teasing
smallkindnesses wrote in pandoraheartsdr
What had begun as a decidedly bewildering day had become rather enjoyable. Though, this was certainly not something she would have attempted at home!

Her surprise, when she had left the warm waters of her rose-scented bath to find that the entirety of her clothing--but for the dressing gown that she had brought into the bathroom with her--had been replaced by something altogether more masculine, had been prodigious.

She had been standing at the wardrobe, peering into it at the jackets, trousers, and shirts as if she were quite certain she would wake up from this peculiar dream any moment--when modern!Break had tapped on her door, worried that she hadn't come down for tea at the regular time.

Then both of them had been peering into her wardrobe... and she couldn't be certain which of them had laughed first, but in a matter of moments they'd had to lean against each other to keep upright.

And that was when he had proposed The Idea. Which was, in turn, why she was presently lounging in the kitchen, wearing Gilbertine's dress suit, her long, rosegold hair tied with a blue ribbon at the nape of her neck, after the manner of a gentleman. And why she was blushing slightly into her tea; even with the help of binding, the cut of the clothes showed off the curves of her figure quite a bit more than her voluminous gowns.

... One of which is presently being worn by her silver-haired companion, who was presently tittering at her from behind one of her own fans....

[ooc: So Modern and Shelly are crossdressing for the day, and pretending that it is absolutely normal! Tagging order: you, Shelly, Modern. ;-)]

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Liam had come floating down to the normal kitchen to find something to eat, since it had provided him with yogurt during tea with Hatter.

When he comes into the kitchen, he actually does a double-take when he sees her. She is still very obviously-- He blushes. omg and he is so not looking.

See that? He's averting his eyes.

"L-lady Shelly?"

Then he sees her companion.

"Xerxes?!"

The Lady arched an eyebrow at the young man over the rim of her teacup, then calmly set it back down on its saucer. Her smile is cultured and calm, though if he's paying attention, he can see how her lips twitch with the effort not to burst out laughing.

"Yes, Mr. Lunettes? Is something the matter?"

Xerxes, meanwhile, flips the fan open as wide as it will go and covers his mouth.

Because he is not about to keel right over from giggles. No. He is scandalized. Scandalized.

"Mister Liam! What in the world are you wearing? So improper!"

Man, fans are so useful.

Liam stares between them in open-mouthed shock.

"... What?" His brain takes a moment to work, and then all it can do is repeat what Break just said. "What am I wearing...?"

[Shelly raised a hand to her lips in faux-horror.]

Why, you're right, Mr. Break, it's terribly scandalous!

[She leans toward Liam, eyes wide and suddenly very very serious.]

Liam, you're wearing trousers!

[Break ducks down behind his fan and reaches out to tap Shelly on the elbow. Daintily. So daintily.]

Shelly. Shelly I think -- I think I may require the smelling salts. I'm so offended I may swoon. I haven't decided yet.

[No, really, laughing this much in a corset is hard. No wonder this Shelly doesn't laugh like his does. Wheeze.]

[Liam's still completely boggled.]

O-of course I'm wearing trousers! I'm a man!

[Hang on, looking down to make sure he still is.]

Gah, sorry X-D Been doing tags so much lately I didn't even realize...

[Shelly blinks, as if he's said something particularly nonsensical. The takes on a gentle smile, as if she's explaining something to someone who's not quite all there.]

Liam, dear... Gentlemen are meant to wear gowns, you know...

[She reaches out and pats poor Break's hand soothingly.]

There, there, we'll straighten this out...

I don't understaaaaand!

[Break declares, voice shaking with laughter mournful agony, as he snaps the fan shut and flings the hand holding it dramatically upward. The back of his hand hits his forehead with a thud.]

He was always such a good boy, Shelly, so -- so proper, and now -- have I gone wrong somewhere, is that what it is?

1/2 No prob. I'm cool with rolling with it.

[Yeah, no. Liam is just going to float there and staaaaaaaaaaaare for a long while.

You broke his brain. It needs to reboot.]

[Unfortunately for Xerxes, he has heard that voice-shaking with his own Xerxes and even though he's quite brain-dead with horror, it penetrates anyway.]

Xerxes Break! You are incorrigible! I hope that corset hurts.

[He huffs, and hovers a few moments gathering his wits before he decides to give in and join them at the table, because TEA, HE NEEDS IT WTF.

He'll just be floating a few inches above the chair.]


Happy All Fools' Day to you, too, Lady Shelly, Xerxes.

[Shelly's lips twitched and she finally let out a hearty laugh, reaching across the table to give poor, beleaguered Liam's hand a warm squeeze.]

Happy All Fool's day to you, too, Mr. Lunettes!...

Now tell us how you come to be floating.

[Break slumps in his chair as best he can given that he is, in fact, wearing a corset.]

Stupid clever Liams, always ruining all my -- oi.

[Bracing himself on the table, he leans over to peer suspiciously at Liam's rear end, and then reaches to wave the fan around underneath him.]

...oh, that's just not fair.

[He answers Lady Shelly's question, very carefully keeping his eyes on her face.]

I woke up like this. I've been told it's likely the Mansion's All Fool's Day prank on me. I've seen it pull mean pranks, so I guess I was lucky.

[To Xerxes,]

I've been pranked by my Xerxes. Enough times to recognize the giggles for what they are.

[Shelly reaches to pour him some tea, watching Break wave the fan underneath Liam's posterior, biting her lip discreetly to keep from laughing again.]

Truly, as pranks go, it seems more amusing than anything... I should imagine it would be rather... fun.

If I could float, I would be able to help Hatter rip the chandeliers down.

[Pooooooooout.]

[Liam adds a spoon of sugar to his tea and stirs.]

It's much easier to get around like this. It's almost easy to forget I'm injured, sometimes.

[He glances at Xerxes.]

You just want to destroy things. I doubt you'd be able to get the traction necessary to do damage like this, anyway.

[Shelly gives Break an arch glance, at that, wondering if it were something he's just saying to fluster Liam or if there really is some plan between him and the chain.]

Chandaliers, Mr. Break...?

[Liam's comment, however, draws her attention back to him, the conspirational glimmer in her eyes dimming with concern.]

Injured...

[Break draws himself up at Liam, offended to his very core.]

I do not! Alright, I love destroyin' fings. But no! No! We want the crystals on 'em. We're gonna string them up all around the mansion, wherever there's light, so there'll be colors everywhere whenever the sun shines.

[So there.

To Shelly, he adds:]


He had a run-in wiv 'is Baskervilles at home. My own Liam suffered the same injuries at his age and healed just fine; so long as he doesn't stop eating or take it into his head to learn gymnastics, he'll be moving about proper soon enough.

...speaking of, Liam, have you eaten yet today?

[Now that he's seen that she was having such fun, Liam's sorry that he mentioned his injuries.]

I'm healing, Lady Shelly. You needn't worry about me.

[To Break.]

You're Break. The name says it all. [As he describes his plan, Liam considers.] Like prisms? It might help brighten the atmosphere.

[He has a sip of his tea before answering.]

I have. I met Gilbertine earlier, and she insisted on cooking for me.

You might be interested to know that yesterday the mansion provided that yogurt you mentioned.

[Shelly glances from one to the other, trying to temper her mothering streak with their assurances. She sips her tea quietly, making a private note to add Liams to the list of people she should have Eques keep a closer eye on.]

[Following their example, she focuses on the chandelier issue, brightening a bit.]


Why, I think that sounds like a lovely idea! A little color would certainly do this place some good!

I like Gilbertine. [Break announces helpfully. Now he does not have to get up and fuss in front of Shelly.] And good on the mansion for being helpful for you. It does seem to have a tendency to pick favorites.

It's not just the colors we want. Just -- what do we do in this mansion all day? We drink tea and worry about Baskervilles. Sometimes it plays pranks on us or there's a party. We want this place to be more interesting, in a harmless sort of way. ...that and it's fun to tear down chandeliers.

Her pancakes are perfect. She seemed to blame herself for Knave's behavior, though. [Liam agrees wholeheartedly. He'd rather not be fussed over, under the circumstances. Break is, after all, wearing a dress.] I suppose I've been lucky. I ran across Canterbury covered in paint, and it played a horrid joke on young Gilbert.

[He smiles at Shelly's reaction. Well, a bit of that smile might be the fact that Break is being Break. He thinks his Break likely would have delighted in destroying bits of the mansion out of spite.]

What other ideas do you have?

[He's truly curious now.]

Why, that's silly. I know for a fact that Knave acted for himself.

[Shelly said, buttering a scone. She glances at Break, eyes sparkling with its own curiosity.]

Yes, do tell!

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